World News It's All Relative Did You Know? Opinion On The Streets
Yes, international superstar comedian Jerry Seinfeld is out cruising the streets of Vancouver this weekend. The reason I know this? I almost bowled him over in the crosswalk earlier today.

As per usual, I wasn’t watching where I was going while I did my Friday deliveries of the uber-popular Good News Weekly publication; when I find myself swerving to avoid a head-on collision with a slightly aged gentleman in the middle of a Robson Street crosswalk. I flashed a half smile toward the fatherly-looking gentleman, as if to say, “Sorry… but not really,” and continued on my way - oblivious to the stardom that was before me.

Moments later, a woman behind me whispers to her husband, “That is Jerry Seinfeld.”

I feel a flush of excitement, and I think to myself, “Could it be?”

Now on opposite sides of Robson, the gentleman in a blue baseball cap, navy polo shirt, and light denim jeans is just out of eye-sight to make a positive ID. So I ditch the distribution route, and begin pursuing the suspect.

I follow him down the street until I can finally cross to get a better look. He is with a three-man posse, so it is hard to get near him, but slowly I manage to inch myself right behind. And you know what, he isn’t that much taller than me!

I still can’t tell if that is Jerry for sure – that is until the phone rings. He answers, and without a doubt, that is the voice of Jerry Seinfeld.

I continue to follow him across the next intersection, where he takes a seat outside a Starbucks. He is still on the phone, and one of his posse is eyeing me up, so I continue to walk.

I get a few stores down, and from behind a tree I continue to gawk at the man who I have watched over 1000 times in every Seinfeld rerun known to man. So what the hell do I do now?

A few minutes pass, and then the Seinfeld posse begins to walk my way, but Jerry is still on the phone. I formulate a plan to get his autograph on a copy of Good News Weekly. I fantasize about asking him to endorse our paper, with a photograph, thumbs up, or even text message that says, “Good News Weekly is Jerry’s kind of paper.”

Jerry and his crew pass me, while I pretend to be working on my distribution list. And once again, I begin stalking the celebrity.

I know that I have to act, but I just can’t muster the courage to do so. I follow for another 2 blocks, but still have not found the will to approach him, even just for an autograph.

I know what you are thinking, “How is it that the super courageous and noble Editor of Good News Weekly is too afraid to talk to a celebrity? This can’t be possible!”

Sadly, nerves got the best of me, and my stalking ended when Jerry walked into his accommodation at a local Hotel.

Celebrities always complain that they get bothered everywhere they go. Often they beg viewers to just leave them alone. I have always known Jerry as that great character on the hit show Seinfeld, I would rather keep it this way. Had he been having a bad day, or simply was not interested in signing my paper, it would have ruined my image of him forever.

This may be my cop out, but it is the story I’m sticking to, and that’s the way I like it.

So what would you have done? Passed him by, stalked him like me, or run straight up and hustled for an autograph?


2 comments

  1. Jenna says:

    I probably would have mobbed him for an autograph. But I am a celebrity junkie!

  2. Jammer19 says:

    Maybe if he had a hit TV show in the 90's you might have recognized him...

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