“Life is waiting for you. It’s all messed up but we’re alive. Life is waiting for you. It’s all messed up but we’ll survive.”
“Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average – which means, you have met your New Year’s resolution.”
Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas?
You know… the birth of Santa.
“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”
“How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire?”